How to Book Nerd: A Tutorial

 

Step One: Buy the books

All of them. Whatever your wallet is willing to give up is to be handed over to the book distributors in exchange for their precious merchandise. You must not miss out on any opportunity to admire their beautiful hardcovers or run your fingers over the perfectly floppy paperbacks. And if you possibly can, buy them.

This is, of course, not a mandatory step in your journey to booknerdom. Benjamin Franklin was as obliging as to invent a thing we now call the “library,” where you can borrow books without angering your bank account. If you’re at all inclined and able, though, this is a highly recommended step.

 

 

 

Step Two: Read the books

Unlike the last, this step is absolutely necessary to the aspiring book nerd. Though it may seem intimidating, the art is really quite upfront: buy books, read them.

If you find yourself daunted by books that are thicker than your hand is tall, then you could try something less intensive. Start small (Doctor Seuss is always there for you, you know.)

Step Three: Cry over the book

There are many different strains of the book nerd, and depending on the type you’re aiming to become, this step may or may not be imperative.

The following are the types which require the “crying over the book” step:

The Fangirl – Everything is just so sad AND OH MY GOODNESS THE FEELS.

The Introspect – Everything just had such an impact on your inner, personal life; it hits you right and you just have to let yourself get a little bit teary-eyed over it.

The Crier – Rather self-explanatory; it’s happy, you cry. It’s sad, you cry. It’s embarrassing, you cry. It’s kind of in between, you cry.

If you find yourself leaning toward any of the above book nerd strains (and don’t feel the need to restrict yourself to just one), then you had better make sure you cry over the book.

Generally, crying is a natural action, but you may have to work yourself up to it at first.

Some beginners have found reading books like Lassie and Where the Red Fern Grows to be beneficial.

Step Four: Tell Everyone You Know About the Book

In order to complete your quest for booknerdom, you must have a certain desire, a certain drive to shove your favorite book into the hands of every human possessing two eyes (Though even one eye is fine too.) One way to convince people to pick up your much-adored book is to scream at them on social media.

NOTE: If you fall into the Fangirl category, it is perfectly acceptable to use all caps when recommending books on the internet. Whether or not is actually convinces people to read the book has not yet been determined, but it definitely makes you appear very passionate.

Did you find this tutorial helpful? Do you have any other steps or helpful tricks to becoming a thorough book nerd?